Dating Disasters Tokyo Style – The Moaner

All dirty connotations aside, this was a bad one. 

At the speed-dating event we seemed to hit it off. He seemed confident and positive, and there was no reason to not see each other again. 

Well, as with a job interview, there are a number of things one can hide for 5 minutes. 

On the big day we decided to have coffee in Omotesando.


“How long have you been in Japan?” I asked my American date the inevitable question. 

“About 8 years.” 

“Wow that’s a long time! You must really like it here!” 

“Umm, no. Actually I hate it. I’m just here for the job.” 

“Oh… I see.”

Come on work with me here. What do you say to that?


We somehow recovered and I ended up being dragged around Harajuku in search of the perfect pouch man bag thing. Men always complain that they hate it when women take them shopping. I can certify that the converse is also true. It was really boring. I just tagged along, trying to be helpful by picking out bags, all of which were met with total rejection. 

I was beginning to be very tired of it all. We’d been wandering around for hours and I was fed up. Luckily, a friend I had recently gotten back in touch with had invited me to a house party that very night. I had my Get Out of Jail Free Card, and was ready to make my escape. This, however, proved to be more difficult than I thought. 

“I’m so sorry, I really should go now, my friend has invited me to a house party, and I can’t be late. It was really lovely to meet you properly though, I had a lovely time!” I excused myself in the most polite way possible. 

I’d like to point out here, that in my philosophy of life, preserving someone’s happiness and well being are worth a little white lie. My intention is not to deceive, but to not hurt or be a hypocrite. Some, notably my Head of Department, disagree with me very vocally, but that’s how I roll. Take it or leave it. 

“Well, I don’t mean to be pushy or invite myself along, but I don’t have any plans this evening, and since I’m free, I’d love to join the party!” he chimed in. 

“Umm, well, you see, I’m the plus one as it were, so I don’t know anyone except for my one friend, so it might probably be kind of awkward if I rocked up with someone.”

Please read between the lines. This is my innate polite Britishness saying “WTF? No! What is wrong with you? Hell no.” 

“But really, it would be great if I could come with you.” 

“I’m sorry, like I said, I don’t know anyone, so I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

Things continued in this vein for a few minutes until we finally said our goodbyes. 

I was going to see him again in the hope that it wouldn’t be as bad, but I never got round to it.

I’m no expert and certainly commit a bajillion faux pas myself, but surely moaning about your life is no way to start any date.


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