Dating Disasters Tokyo Style – The Starbucks Fuck Buddy Man

In hindsight I really should have seen it coming. From the e-mails, I mean.

Having put the “I’m a dirty boy,” and “I can be your bad boy student” down to English being a second language so he wasn’t to know the full impact of what he was saying, we arranged to have our first date on a sunny morning at the Starbucks overlooking the Shibuya Scramble Crossing.

He appeared sporting sunglasses and carrying a Louis Vuitton bag. We chatted about this and that for about half an hour.

“Have you ever had a fuck buddy?”

“Hmphsplf – ” The iced coffee I was drinking very nearly came out of my nose in the most unladylike manner.

“Too personal, huh?”

“Umm, yeah, just a bit.”

And just like that he changed the topic.

In my mind were the following words – WTF?

You don’t just say something like that out of the blue to someone you’ve just met, on your first date, at what must be the busiest Starbucks in the world, at 10:30 on a Saturday morning! You don’t!

What if one of my students had been there?? Mortifying. It’s already bad enough bumping into them at H&M or Topshop, or even out and about in residential Gakugei-Daigaku, but that would have been the nail in the coffin.

I politely saw the date through to the end – blame it on my innate British need for politeness if you must.

That was the last I saw of him, but occasionally the text messages would come.

“Can I meet you?”

“Can I come to your place?”

“Can we go to karaoke?”

“I want to be alone with you.”

“I need you.”

“We don’t have to have sex, just cuddling and kissing is fine.”

Actually, my aforementioned British manners are preventing me from writing exactly what he said. Let’s just say that my lady bits were, rather poetically I suppose, compared to an oasis that would be saving a dying man – or rather, a dying man’s c**k – in the desert.

After dodging the replies I eventually told him that I was flattered but that I couldn’t do that for him, but I was sure he’d find a lovely girl who could.

Then, fearful of having been too blunt I added that I would let him know if I ever changed my mind.

I know! I know what you’re thinking. But, I couldn’t help it; I didn’t want him to feel bad!

A couple of times after that I had texts asking me if I had changed my mind. I hadn’t.

I do hope, though, that he’s found his happiness somewhere, and at the very least, I can respect him for being honest and saying it straight.

13 thoughts on “Dating Disasters Tokyo Style – The Starbucks Fuck Buddy Man

  1. Ha I’ve met a guy who was similarly blunt; I did appreciate his just putting it out there, but in the cold light of day it made me sputter and blush and I don’t appreciate being made to feel like a teenager! Bless his heart, but no, not a chance.

  2. O wow, that is hilarious. No, really. HILARIOUS 😀 It’s also sorta sad guys like this are out there. Sure, gotta appreciate the honesty, although I WOULD call it bluntness really. I would be mortified. 😀
    And also, is it called a scramble crossing in general or is it just Shibuya? I ask, because whenever I try to explain to my American friends what we now have between Oxford Street and Regents Street I can never describe or name that crossing….

  3. This was a great read! I would have loved to have used this is my book Mr Wrong. I especially found the ‘polite Britishness’ funny. ‘I’ll let you know if I change my mind.’ Hee hee. A whole new chapter!

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