Ok, so this is where I talk about that summer fling I had with Mr Hot and Sexy Latin Lover, Rafael was his name, from Brazil – the best sex I ever had.
Yup, we’re going to concern ourselves here not with the fictional Mr Brazil, but that beauty practice that has become so deeply ingrained in the Western woman’s culture of beauty – I’m talking about the bikini wax.
The pain was insane. Any minute I thought I would be rolling around on the floor, foaming at the mouth. I think I even screamed. Loudly. Several times. Ok, I may be exaggerating just a touch; there was no foaming (but there were tears!) and they weren’t blood-curdling screams by any means (but they were audible!).
Let’s rewind and see how it all began.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” asked my friend.
“Oh, um,” I hesitantly answered, “I’m going to the salon to get a… bikini wax.”
“Ooh, are you getting a Hollywood?” she queried, expectantly.
“N-No, just a Brazilian… I guess,” I mumbled.
“Ok, make sure they use hard wax! Something like Lycon; it’s less painful.”
“It’s an organic salon so it’ll be fine. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” I asked her good-humouredly.
“Not being able to sit down for a week!”
Then I was truly terrified.
In spite of this, however, I made it to the salon on the following day, and found myself revealing my most intimate self to a perfect stranger. But, it really wasn’t that embarrassing. These girls have seen it all before and more to boot (well, that’s what I kept telling myself anyway), and to top it all off, she was so friendly, and did her utmost to dispel my anxiety and reduce any discomfort. Or, maybe, this is just that kind of serenity that comes with age, ha ha.
“Owuwah” I wailed for the umpteenth time, “and it’s painful,” I whimpered pitifully, about halfway through.
“You’re pulling the hair! Of course it’s painful!” she exclaimed. (She has a point there, I must admit.)
But after the ordeal was over, I decided I was pretty happy with the result.
“Maybe you can try a Hollywood next time,” my beautician suggested cheerfully.
“Umm, yeah… maybe… or not,” I tried to weasel out of that one for sure, ha ha.
It’s early days yet, to tell whether or not I’ll be keeping this up, but I can say this with certainty – I do not at all regret having tried something new and had “the Brazilian experience.”